Despite my determination to never be the mother of a football player, I was overruled and my six-year-old became a football player. For the record, it was flag football and it was called a "football camp" on the registration forms and fliers.
We decided to sign our son up for this football camp. It met for 70 minutes a week for six weeks. To say my husband and I were disappointed in the camp was an understatement. It was really 20 five- and six-year-olds wearing flags and running around a field chasing after whoever had the ball. The flier and website both advertised it as a way to learn the basics of football, the rules, and technique. Well, this didn't happen.
Today was the last day of camp, a "scrimmage" against the Lancaster/New Holland team. With 20 kids on the team playing five kids at a time, playing time was minimal.
After the game, every kid received a certificate of participation. My son was so proud of his certificate. I looked at it and saw a red piece of card stock picked up straight from a copier. There were no names on it, no signatures. It was a let down to me, but to him it was the best thing I the world.
My son was thrilled by the whole flag football experience. He was excited to be around people and to be around football. He enjoyed it every week. My husband and I were careful not to talk about our negative thoughts in front of him. We did not want to cloud his judgment of the game or the camp.
My six-year-old was pleased. My husband and I were not. The difference was our expectations. All Andrew wanted was a fun time and some recognition of having done something. We expected more.
(By the way, despite meeting my son's expectations, my husband and I write the checks and we will not be writing one to this group again.)
How many times do we set our expectations too high? How often do we set ourselves up for disappointment because of those too high expectations? I know I have been challenged to try to set realistic expectations in order to have a more positive outlook on life.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Appreciation
We were listening to the Kids Cookie Break on the radio yesterday morning and learned that today was Sunday School Teacher Appreciation Day. We decided to take advantage of that fact and show the teachers at church our gratitude. They got a thank you card signed by class members and a small jar of candy. This was merely a token of appreciation, but I think the teachers appreciated the acknowledgment of the dedication and hard work they put into teaching each week.
As one of the Sunday School teachers being appreciated, it was a little awkward when my son said, "Mom even made one for herself." It would have been more awkward not to have put the work into it for myself as well, but his comment did get me thinking about patting myself on the back a little.
It is hard for me to appreciate me. It isn't that I don't want some acknowledgement of my hard work, but I don't feel like I here it so I really doubt sometimes that certain things are really doing any good. I need to stat recognizing that if God wants me to do it, then it is good whether anyone else recognizes it or not.
This morning also made me realize that I don't show others appreciation enough. I am setting a goal for myself that I want to find something specific to thank someone else for at least once a week and then tell them.
As one of the Sunday School teachers being appreciated, it was a little awkward when my son said, "Mom even made one for herself." It would have been more awkward not to have put the work into it for myself as well, but his comment did get me thinking about patting myself on the back a little.
It is hard for me to appreciate me. It isn't that I don't want some acknowledgement of my hard work, but I don't feel like I here it so I really doubt sometimes that certain things are really doing any good. I need to stat recognizing that if God wants me to do it, then it is good whether anyone else recognizes it or not.
This morning also made me realize that I don't show others appreciation enough. I am setting a goal for myself that I want to find something specific to thank someone else for at least once a week and then tell them.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
A Gift I Don't Deserve
I received an email this week that showed I would be receiving an early Christmas/birthday present. This present has a very high monetary value for a gift and while I know that the givers can afford to give it to me, it is still hard to accept the gift. In our current family situation we cannot afford to reciprocate with a gift of the same monetary value. In fact, the gift(s) that this person will be receiving are homemade gifts this year. While I know that they will appreciate the time and effort that I have/will put into the gifts, it still feels a little less than adequate. (By the way, I know that the gift was given knowing that there was not a way for us to return the favor and there was not an expectation of that in any way, shape, or form on the part of the givers. These feelings are completely my own.
As I worked through the feelings of guilt over this gift, I had to remind myself of several things.
The giving of the gift gives great joy to the person giving the gift. Christmas and birthdays are so much more fun as I watch my children open their presents! Seeing their faces light up as they open something unexpected just makes my heart smile. I know it brought and will bring great joy to this person to give me this gift as well. She knew it was not something I could afford to get on my own and that I never would have asked for it but that I will use both to benefit me in terms of helping my family and church but also will bring me entertainment.
Second, I thought about the fact that I have truly been blessed by many people, particularly with gifts for may children. I had a sister give us a swing, car seat, bouncer seat, stroller frame, and more when she was done with them and we were having Andrew. I had a friend from high school mail me a box of her daughter's clothes for Abby because of a difference in seasons between her and Catherine. And that is just to name a few.
Finally, my thoughts keep returning to how blessed I am, not because of this particular gift but because of the fact that I have received something so much more than that from God when he gave me the gift of grace and mercy through His Son, Jesus. This is a gift I definitely do not deserve, yet God gave it to me anyway!
I sometimes, okay often, forget how truly unworthy I am of that gift. I am a sinner and that means I am separated from God. But even with that separation that I deserve, he gave His Son's life for mine! Why don't I feel this appreciation more often?
As I worked through the feelings of guilt over this gift, I had to remind myself of several things.
The giving of the gift gives great joy to the person giving the gift. Christmas and birthdays are so much more fun as I watch my children open their presents! Seeing their faces light up as they open something unexpected just makes my heart smile. I know it brought and will bring great joy to this person to give me this gift as well. She knew it was not something I could afford to get on my own and that I never would have asked for it but that I will use both to benefit me in terms of helping my family and church but also will bring me entertainment.
Second, I thought about the fact that I have truly been blessed by many people, particularly with gifts for may children. I had a sister give us a swing, car seat, bouncer seat, stroller frame, and more when she was done with them and we were having Andrew. I had a friend from high school mail me a box of her daughter's clothes for Abby because of a difference in seasons between her and Catherine. And that is just to name a few.
Finally, my thoughts keep returning to how blessed I am, not because of this particular gift but because of the fact that I have received something so much more than that from God when he gave me the gift of grace and mercy through His Son, Jesus. This is a gift I definitely do not deserve, yet God gave it to me anyway!
I sometimes, okay often, forget how truly unworthy I am of that gift. I am a sinner and that means I am separated from God. But even with that separation that I deserve, he gave His Son's life for mine! Why don't I feel this appreciation more often?
Friday, August 31, 2012
Discipline Is Painful...for Both Parties
I have relatively high expectations for my children. They know what behavior is acceptable (for children their age) and I expect them to behave accordingly. They are generally very well behaved kids and do obey much of the time. Of course, they don't always meet my expectations. We use those instances as earning experiences and opportunities to teach and reinforce the appropriate actions.
There are also times that they blatantly disobey. They hear Ray or I tell them something but they respond with "No!" or by doing the opposite of what we said to do. It is times like this where they lose a privilege. Sometimes they lose "screen time" (iPhone or TV show or video games) while others it is a time out or alone time until they have settled down. Our children never like the results of this. Just tonight Andrew said, "I want to lose something else!" after being disciplined.
I sometimes worry that my children will resent me for the times that I discipline them. It is hard on them, but it isn't easy on me as the parent either. I don't want to take things away from my children. I want them to be happy and it is hard to watch them cry or see them mope around because they didn't get to go somewhere or do something. I have missed out on things because one or more children were not behaving well enough to get to leave the house. It is hard and we have to be strong. We also have to look at the long term impact of disciplining our children. We know that setting strict limits now will help to mold them into the people that they need to be. Does this mean that they will never rebel or disobey when they get older? Absolutely not. What it does mean is that I can know exactly how much I can trust them with as they get older.
The thing that my children don't understand about the times that they are punished is that we do it because we love them. We know more than they do and we know what is best for them (most of the time, at least). This is the same as when God disciplines us. I cant imagine that He enjoyed telling Eve that she would experience pain in childbirth or Adam that he would have to toil and sweat to eat the plants of the field. But God did it because He loved them. He knew what was best and He did it.
Proverbs 3:1-12 says, "My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent His rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in."
I am working to remember this when I am experiencing times of discipline. God, my Heavenly Father, is doing it out of love just like I do it for my children.
There are also times that they blatantly disobey. They hear Ray or I tell them something but they respond with "No!" or by doing the opposite of what we said to do. It is times like this where they lose a privilege. Sometimes they lose "screen time" (iPhone or TV show or video games) while others it is a time out or alone time until they have settled down. Our children never like the results of this. Just tonight Andrew said, "I want to lose something else!" after being disciplined.
I sometimes worry that my children will resent me for the times that I discipline them. It is hard on them, but it isn't easy on me as the parent either. I don't want to take things away from my children. I want them to be happy and it is hard to watch them cry or see them mope around because they didn't get to go somewhere or do something. I have missed out on things because one or more children were not behaving well enough to get to leave the house. It is hard and we have to be strong. We also have to look at the long term impact of disciplining our children. We know that setting strict limits now will help to mold them into the people that they need to be. Does this mean that they will never rebel or disobey when they get older? Absolutely not. What it does mean is that I can know exactly how much I can trust them with as they get older.
The thing that my children don't understand about the times that they are punished is that we do it because we love them. We know more than they do and we know what is best for them (most of the time, at least). This is the same as when God disciplines us. I cant imagine that He enjoyed telling Eve that she would experience pain in childbirth or Adam that he would have to toil and sweat to eat the plants of the field. But God did it because He loved them. He knew what was best and He did it.
Proverbs 3:1-12 says, "My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent His rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in."
I am working to remember this when I am experiencing times of discipline. God, my Heavenly Father, is doing it out of love just like I do it for my children.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Introduction
There are many things I teach my children about how to live life. For example, Abby is learning to eat solid food right now, Catherine is learning how to be a helper in the kitchen, and Andrew is learning to be more independent in riding the bus to school and getting ready for school.
I also teach my children about who God is and what it is that He did for us. Bible stories, memory verses, church, praying, and songs, are all ways we are teaching them. Andrew is even asking a lot of questions which helps us to understand where he is at and what he needs to know.
What I have learned about God through parenthood is so much more than I ever thought possible. And we have a long way to go! I wanted to document some of these lessons for myself and hopefully be able to encourage others as well.
Because I just decided to start writing these down, the order of the posts will not make a lot of sense but should stand alone anyway so they should still make sense.
I also teach my children about who God is and what it is that He did for us. Bible stories, memory verses, church, praying, and songs, are all ways we are teaching them. Andrew is even asking a lot of questions which helps us to understand where he is at and what he needs to know.
What I have learned about God through parenthood is so much more than I ever thought possible. And we have a long way to go! I wanted to document some of these lessons for myself and hopefully be able to encourage others as well.
Because I just decided to start writing these down, the order of the posts will not make a lot of sense but should stand alone anyway so they should still make sense.
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