Discipline Is Painful...for Both Parties

I have relatively high expectations for my children. They know what behavior is acceptable (for children their age) and I expect them to behave accordingly. They are generally very well behaved kids and do obey much of the time. Of course, they don't always meet my expectations. We use those instances as earning experiences and opportunities to teach and reinforce the appropriate actions.

There are also times that they blatantly disobey. They hear Ray or I tell them something but they respond with "No!" or by doing the opposite of what we said to do. It is times like this where they lose a privilege. Sometimes they lose "screen time" (iPhone or TV show or video games) while others it is a time out or alone time until they have settled down. Our children never like the results of this.  Just tonight Andrew said, "I want to lose something else!" after being disciplined.

I sometimes worry that my children will resent me for the times that I discipline them. It is hard on them, but it isn't easy on me as the parent either. I don't want to take things away from my children. I want them to be happy and it is hard to watch them cry or see them mope around because they didn't get to go somewhere or do something.  I have missed out on things because one or more children were not behaving well enough to get to leave the house. It is hard and we have to be strong. We also have to look at the long term impact of disciplining our children. We know that setting strict limits now will help to mold them into the people that they need to be. Does this mean that they will never rebel or disobey when they get older? Absolutely not. What it does mean is that I can know exactly how much I can trust them with as they get older.

The thing that my children don't understand about the times that they are punished is that we do it because we love them. We know more than they do and we know what is best for them (most of the time, at least). This is the same as when God disciplines us. I cant imagine that He enjoyed telling Eve that she would experience pain in childbirth or Adam that he would have to toil and sweat to eat the plants of the field. But God did it because He loved them. He knew what was best and He did it.

Proverbs 3:1-12 says, "My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent His rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in."

I am working to remember this when I am experiencing times of discipline. God, my Heavenly Father, is doing it out of love just like I do it for my children.